Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Praise Bush's War Record

WASHINGTON, DC-Reeling from bipartisan criticism of their smear tactics against John Kerry's Vietnam war record, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have decided to adopt a more positive approach--namely, focusing on aspects of President Bush's military history. In a new ad campaign airing in several important swing states, including Michigan, Pennsylvania and Florida, the group's members give detai ... Read more

Male Strippers Recieve $0.73 For Every Dollar Female Strippers Make

MADISON, WI--In a recent report studying the wages of exotic dancers, researchers found that for every dollar bill given to a female stripper, her male counterpart only receives $.73. This important issue has been long ignored by the scientific community, partly because scientists deal with science and not with issues involving male strippers.

Male strippers have been battling for equal ... Read more

Bush Mentions Terrorism 104,305 Times at Republican National Convention

Recently, many critics have claimed that the current White House has been using scare tactics to compel voters to re-elect President George W. Bush. Republican Party leaders responded to these claims at the recent Republican National Convention.

"There is not an iota of truth to those allegations," said Vice President Dick Cheney. "Of course, given the administration's outstanding recor ... Read more

Michael Phelps is a Choke Artist Who I Could Totally Beat at Everything

During the 2004 Olympic games, nineteen year-old Michael Phelps was poised to win an unprecedented eight gold medals in various swimming events. What did he end up winning? A mere six gold and two bronze medals. Pfft. Weak. Oops, Michael, you were supposed to swim faster!

Seriously, that performance was an embarrassment to our nation. I could easily do better. For example, the other nig ... Read more