France Admits Homosexuality
PARIS, FRANCE-- Ending years of awkward speculation by neighbors, allies, enemies and neglected ex-girlfriends, the second largest country of Western Europe finally built up the courage to confirm what most of the world had suspected for centuries: France is gay.
In a press conference Tuesday morning, Prime Minister Jacques Chirac explained his country's controversial announ ... Read more
Armless Girl Wonders Why She's Always Picked Last For Dodgeball
ANN ARBOR, MI-- For most children at Tappan Middle School, P.E. class is the best time of the day. But for 7th-grader Julie Raison, who was born without arms, gym can be painful.
"Gym's okay sometimes, I guess," said Julie. "It's just the days we play dodgeball that I don't like. I mean, nobody ever wants me on their team, and I don't get why. They just kind of av ... Read more
Graduating Campus Loudmouths Prepare for Irrelevant Lives
ANN ARBOR, MI -- In an annual rite that is bitter for student leaders, sweet for student cynics, and downright meaningless for the other 6 billion people on planet Earth, countless presidents, vice-presidents, treasurers, and ambassadors to Thailand in the 60,000-plus student groups on the U of M Campus will be forced to check their egos at the gates of Michigan Stadium and enter a world that j ... Read more
