October Ushers In Season Of Academic Panic
U of M psychologists reported a dramatic increase in panicked expressions on the faces of students, especially freshmen, in the month of October.Dr. Elyssa Hellman, U of M professor of developmental psychology, explains that the month of October often leads students to enter into a new developmental phase, marked by a high level of what the psychological community refers to as "freakin ... Read more
U of M Physicist Isolates Third Bean From Cafeteria Three-Bean Chili
Earlier this month, U of M physics professor Alan Tidwellington announced that his team of scientists has successfully isolated the third and final bean from the U Cafeteria chili. The bean has been tentatively named "Clarence McDermott," in honor of Clarence McDermott."We're very excited about this discovery," said Tidwellington, whose team received a grant of $250,000 following their ... Read more
The Every Three Weekly Celebrates National Breast Awareness Month
This October is National Breast Awareness Month. Ignorance of breasts is a growing problem in America today. Breast Awareness Month is dedicated to increasing awareness of breast issues, especially the importance of early detection of breasts. The majority of women--and some fat guys--are at risk of developing breasts.This year, Breast Awareness Month will celebrate ten years of drawin ... Read more
October Ushers In Season Of Academic Panic
U of M psychologists reported a dramatic increase in panicked expressions on the faces of students, especially freshmen, in the month of October.Dr. Elyssa Hellman, U of M professor of developmental psychology, explains that the month of October often leads students to enter into a new developmental phase, marked by a high level of what the psychological community refers to as "freakin ... Read more
Obscure Questions Impress Chicks
Sources reported Tuesday that female students in History 318 showered their underwear down upon the front row's lone inhabitant, LSA sophomore-with-junior-standing Matthew Bronstein, in response to his numerous questions.According to Rebecca Brooks, one of the dozens of sexy coeds wooed by Bronstein's questions, his performance was nothing short of inspirational. "When the professor sa ... Read more
