BUSH ANNOUNCES CREATION OF WAR CORPS

Washington, D.C.-In a Rose Garden press conference this week, President Bush revealed plans to allocate federal funds to create a volunteer organization known as the War Corps. Citing a need for more troops to protect American interests overseas and the lack of popular support for a draft, Bush claims that the group is necessary to preserve freedom in the face of an "ever-strongening Axis of Evil. ... Read more

Race and Ethnicity Requirement to be Replaced by "Race An Ethnicity Day"

In a landmark decision this past Tuesday, the University of Michigan Board of Directors decided almost unanimously to replace the LSA "race and ethnicity" course requirement with the "Race An Ethnicity Day" festival.

"The idea behind the festival," explained Mary Sue Coleman, "is to give students a chance to compete in track and field events against some of the less-represented ethnicit ... Read more

Americans Welcome Back Reality Television After Surreality of Extended Election Coverage

Ann Arbor resident Jim Cannorati could care less who his new president is, but after months of anxiety and anticipation he's ecstatic to have the election finally over.

"They kept interrupting all of my normally scheduled programming, what with their precious debates, election night and other coverage," Cannorati grieved in an interview with the Every Three Weekly. "I can think of at le ... Read more