North Campus Unveils Taco Bell Tower

For the past four years, denizens and sojourners to University of Michigan's North Campus have expressed two major concerns: lack of restaurants and the fact that the Lurie Bell Tower is a big waste of money. Now, with the unveiling of the new "Taco Bell Tower," both problems have been ameliorated.

"We thought we'd try to fix two problems at the same time," commented director of North C ... Read more

Theologians Discover Lost "Girls & Trucks" Chapter of New Testament

THE VATICAN, ROME - During renovations on the ancient library of sacred books in the basement of St. Peter's Cathedral last week, Vatican officials stumbled upon several sheaves of aged parchment covered with precise columns of hand-lettered Ancient Greek and Aramaic, as well as large, glossy pictures of customized 4x4 pickups with buxom, scantily clad women draped seductively over hoods and bumpe ... Read more

New Starbucks in Cava Java Announced

Citing increasing demand for coffee and record growth, Starbucks Coffee International announced plans for a fourth Starbucks in the Ann Arbor area. This will be the third new Starbucks constructed on campus within the last two years.

Experts cite a steady rise in campus pretentiousness as reason for the continued expansion. "Oh yeah definitely," stated pseudo-alternative Cava Java regu ... Read more

Japan Goes Wild Over Birth Birth Revolution

TOKYO, JAPAN-The island nation of Japan is caught up in yet another video-game craze; this time it's Konami's new Birth Birth Revolution game making the preteens scream and the businessmen slightly nod in agreement, as they quickly scurry to their jobs or large televisions broadcasting the Seattle Mariners.

Birth Birth Revolution, or BBR to those in the know, is a spin-off of the previo ... Read more