One Hundred Eighteen Years of Increasing Senility

Hair Stylist Wants To Know If You Play Any Sports

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ANN ARBOR – After asking you a litany of other ice-breakers at the Aveedo Hair Salon, stylist Kimberly Stevenson “really” wanted to know whether you play any sports or anything like that.

“I don’t know,” Stevenson confessed, adding that you looked like the type of person who would play sports.

You thought to yourself how the question was less direct than, “So, do you like rimjobs?” before responding that you had played golf in high school.

“That’s so interesting!” Stevenson replied, pausing from cutting your hair to touch you on the shoulder. “Golf!”

Stevenson said that she likes golf, but is really bad at it.

“My husband is good at it,” she said. “But I’m not good at it.”

The woman then insisted that she had met people who had played all sorts of sports, from football to basketball and even, believe it or not, baseball.

“It’s really shocking how many sports there are and how many people have actually played them.”

You asked if she had ever cut Chad Henne’s hair, and she said no.

“I cut one of the assistant’s hair - what’s his name, Barfis or Barwin?” she said. “He was telling me that if you play sports you should drink chocolate milk afterwards. It’ll help you build strong muscles.”

Stevenson’s failure to get through her first year of college because of the death of her cat, Barry, then became the focus of the conversation.