Bush promises to immediately withdraw from the withdrawal from Iraq
President cites study showing negative effects of withdrawal, withdrawing
“We’re going to withdraw from it,” promised Bush, who said that as long as the United States begins to withdraw from the evacuation now, “most, if not all, of the troops in Iraq will be back on home base by Christmas.”
“We hope to see most of the troops withdrawing from the extraction effort,” said the President optimistically, who said, “retreating from going home is one of the smartest things America could do right now.”
The country at large has praised President Bush’s effort at pulling out from the extraction effort—the initiative is especially popular among Democrats, dumb women, and Americans with no sense of irony.
“I’m so glad my son will finally be back [in Iraq],” said Clara Robbins, whose 29-year-old son, Harold, was scheduled to be sent home after finishing five tours of duty. “I thank President Bush for finally seeing the light on the need for [withdrawing from the] withdrawal.”
“I can’t wait to [not ever] see my son again,” added Robbins.
Bush said that the results of a recent study on the effects of withdrawing changed his mind about the need to withdraw.
The study, undertaken by the National Pull-Out Organization, said that soldiers experienced typical side effects of withdrawal, which often include sleeplessness, disorientation, and vertigo stemming from the withdrawal from Iraq.
“The only sensible thing to do would be to withdraw, at that point,” said NAPOO chair on health and foreign affairs Helen Wilkins. “Withdrawing was obviously the cause of the withdrawal, and I commend the president on cancelling the cancellation of this war effort.”
“He’s the kind of president for whom we should refrain from the business of renouncing,” said Wilkins of the President’s commendable decision.