English Major Completes Five-Paragraph Honors Thesis

Shocking Man vs. Himself Theme Hypothesized

BOSTON, MA—Shockwaves spread throughout the halls of academia last week when Harvard student Marleen Orow, a Rhodes Scholar recipient, completed several months of work on her thesis: "Gatsby's Fatal Flaw: Man versus Himself in Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby."

The thesis is drawing both praise and fire for its unique approach to literary analysis.

"I wanted to push the bounds of contemporary criticism," stated Orow. "Too many people are content to hide in the recesses of psychoanalytic or Marxist criticism. I'd much rather force some important issues to the front with my work."

Members of Harvard's English department have expressed shock and sometimes dismay at the format and content of Orow's essay. "We like a certain amount of creativity, even something edgy, but this is ridiculous," Professor Clem Barrows said, pointing at the three-page work. "She's using what she describes as the 'five-paragraph method,' which she claims lends particular order to the essay. Order? And those 'topic sentences' and the restatement of her thesis at the opening of the conclusion? Really!"

Another issue which has disturbed faculty is the complete avoidance of the passive voice. "I feel it makes my writing more compelling," pleaded Orow. "The three topics I use to support my thesis are easily recognized as they're contained in their own individual paragraphs. And I conclude by questioning the validity of the American dream. I think people have been missing the point of this book for years."

Professor Barrows disagrees. "I'm afraid we may need to refocus our introductory writing courses on the basics to avoid more vigilante critics like Ms. Orow. Whatever happened to criticism of A Separate Peace, or even Catcher in the Rye?"