George W. Bush Visits University, Writes on Sidewalk

Sparked by the overwhelming student participation in the recent MSA elections, Republican presidential hopeful George W. Bush visited Ann Arbor last weekend in an attempt to garner the votes of politically-crazed students.

"After the huge voter turnout in the student government elections last month, it was obvious to us that it would be a mistake not to campaign in Ann Arbor," Bush said.

Bush says he had never considered visiting the campus before hearing about the elections. "I usually only have the opportunity to campaign in places that are debating exceptionally controversial political issues," he said. "Quite frankly, I've never really found anything in Ann Arbor that could possibly conflict with my conservative Texan ideals. Everything's ship-shape!"

Many students say Bush's visit was beneficial. "I really like how he wrote his name all over the sidewalk," said engineering freshman Jonathan Ardmore. "It really allowed students to learn lots of important information about him, like how to spell his name, and what color chalk he prefers."

Other students say Bush's chalking of the sidewalks was bothersome. "I think it's just annoying now," said LSA sophomore Lauren Allison. "I mean, it was okay when it was just the Wolverine Party, the Blue Party, DAAP, the All People's Party, and the FRAT party. They were all campaigning seriously about nationally important issues. But this was just too much."

Engineering sophomore Eric Allen agrees. "He took up the whole left side of the diag with a bunch of crap about education reform," he said. "I don't care about that. All I want to know is why the hell I can't get into the CCRB at 3 in the morning."