Letters to the Editor

To: threeweeks@umich.edu From: "Peter K. Westen" and lt,pkw@umich.edu and gt, Subject: Big Chief Win-Um Casino Dear Editors: Like the Ku Klux Klan, you have a right to publish nearly anything you choose. But having a right to publish is not the same as being right to publish. I am willing to believe that your piece, "'Big Chief Win-Um' Casino," in the March issue was intended as humorous satire. You must know, however, that the closer satire comes to parroting vicious racial messages, the harder it is for humor to survive. Your "'Big Chief Win-Um' Casino," with its reference to drunken Indians, is satire without redeeming humor. And, lacking humor, it conveys nothing but ugly malice. Sincerely, Peter Westen Professor of Lawn

You'll forgive us if we don't quite see the comparison to the KKK.

We've received some significant flak over the Michigamua article, but most of it fails to acknowledge the context within which the offensive statements occur.

The very paragraph before our drinking reference, a faux 'Native American' bandwagon-hopper decries the *lack* of stereotyping in the mascot. The reference is clearly labeled a stereotype, and the word 'stereotype', as I'm sure everyone knows, holds an extremely negative connotation. Especially in Ann Arbor.

We, in fact, believe the two paragraphs to be an attack on the professional activist types who support any cause that comes up, regardless their prior knowledge of or commitment to it. 'Watches-The-Real-World' exposes her own ignorance through the statement. At least that's how we saw it.

Sometimes one must look beneath the surface of our paper to see what we're getting at.

-Ed.

From: Eugene Chang and lt,change@umich.edu and gt, To: threeweeks.letters@umich.edu Subject: A suffering mid-atlantic region Hi guys. I wanted to let you know that you've guys have finally put something funny on print here at the University of Michigan. This place has been void of anything lampoon-esque for many a year now. Nothing has continuously made me laugh through every word. (Oh wait, there was that other gargoylely paper. HA HA HA HA HA!!!! cough cough). There is a concern, however, of some of your content. Being a native Delawarian, I have noticed that Delaware has been abused now twice by this paper, once in this past issue ("Law Student Leaves for Pro Ranks Early") and in the January Issue ("Black Man Thinks He Might Be Next President"). Delaware is an obvious choice in its obscurity and lack of importance for anything. And I must applaud you for avoided "Dela-where" jokes. However, we form Delaware have learned the importance of sharing. There are plenty of other states which are just waiting to be satirized through this paper, such as the-armpit-of-the-US New Jersey, lined-with-cornfields Kansas, and never-anything-real-to-say-about North Dakota. These states need you! Who else is going to put them into fame? Some ugly stone sculpture paper? Give everyone a chance! Eugene Chang

Thanks for bringing this pressing issue to our attention. We've made no conscious effort to abuse Delaware in particular, although it should be noted that one of the editors did live there for a year when he was a mere tyke. He remembers only the fact that they seemed uninterested in Transformers, but perhaps that embittered him enough to carry a grudge against the state to this very day.

In the future we shall endeavor to malign the rest of the country as effectively as we have maligned your home state.

-Ed.

From: Sheldon Baker and lt,shek@umich.edu and gt, To: threeweeks.letters@umich.edu Subject: Gargoyle Mania Sweeps Campus! Dear E3W, I wish to wholeheartedly join you in congratulating the Gargoyle upon its recent readership sexplosion, andlet me tell you, that recognition has been a long time coming. You see, as a former junior editor of that joke-a-licious rag, I can remember a time when we were overjoyed to maintain a readership of almost six. We arrived at that figure, I am proud to say, even after not counting a number of staff members toward the total. That, of course, was back in the dark days when Garg was free drop. Now, while the old oh-six tally was grand, I mean, the eight thing, it's like, wow. Luckily, the good ol' Board of Student Pub was wise enough to step in and extort the staff into using those time-tested techniques of price-gouging and, yes, peer quality control, and well, the results speak for themselves! A slick-looking magazine that costs five times what a stick of gum does and lasts half as long. Kudos E3W, and long live the Board! Shek Baker P.S. Lose the self-deprecation. And more lesbians.

Lesbians, you say?

-Ed.

From: "Wayne" and lt,yangw@umich.edu and gt, To: and lt,threeweeks@umich.edu and gt, Subject: photos of lesbians Give me a camera. I'm ready. On another note, a game called The Sims has lesbians in it. Wayne

Wayne was also kind enough to attach some proof of his assertion, as you can see. Now we have to call Maxis and demand royalties for a surge of Ann Arbor sales of their game.

-Ed.

From: Mike Lopez and lt,stilgar@engin.umich.edu and gt, To: threeweeks.letters@umich.edu Subject: Mark Gordon As a former columnist for the Daily, I was once contacted by Mark Gordon about the waste of space that was my column. That is why I was glad to see that you had done your research and uncovered the sordid secrets of his internet life and published his web address for all to see. You are right. It does suck and I am sure that anyone reaching the "the pimp site" will agree. Reader of the Year, Mike Lopez

Thanks for your comments.

Anyway, Mr. Lopez is the most famous person to ever email us. While this fact is nice since it's a step up from a bunch of random students and the occasional professor, it's still not very good (no offense to Mr. Lopez). ATTENTION KEVIN SPACEY: email us! Please!

I suppose people more famous than Mr. Lopez but less famous than Mr. Spacey can also email us, but we're shootin' for "Verbal" himself.

-Ed.