Mr. Men Start Boy Band, Take Guesswork out of Character Stereotypes
Mr. Messy still insists, "No, I'm the cute one!"
By Tina Logan
Hey, music fans! Have I got a hot, new band for you. Sure, the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC are tearin' up the charts (and tearin' up our hearts!) but we all know they've got about as much time left as the XFL, so we'd best be getting on to the next big thing if we're going to be hip. Without further ado, then, I present to you the hottest new thing in music: The Mr. Men!
I'm sure you remember the Mr. Men, right? You know, those cool little books with those dudes that were all heads, like Mr. Noisy? Well, they've forces as a singing and dancing dynamo.
The Mr. Men-soon to be known simply as "the Man Band"-are totally excited about their new careers. Although most of their endeavors up until now have involved solving the problems arising from their single, overbearing personality traits while inspiring children with the underlying moral lessons of their exploits, the Mr. Men are ready to take the music world by storm.
Said group agent Cash Moneybags, "The Mr. Men were always wildly popular with the kids. They never really went out of style. We're appealing to an age group that has been completely overlooked in the recent teenybopper pop insurgence: the 3 to 6 year old bracket. Plus, we're saving millions in marketing campaigns trying to make up accessible personalities for these guys. I mean, their characters pretty much speak for themselves."
Even though their artistic abilities sometimes seem somewhat flat and one dimensional, each Mr. Man has something unique to offer the group. Mr. Happy, the leader, offers spiritual support to his band mates. "I just want to make our fans smile," the selfless, adorable blonde admits.
Mr. Jelly is well known for his amazing dancing ability, often times breaking off in the middle of a number to shake free form for several minutes at a time in a Jello-esque orgiastic frenzy. Raved fan Tina Small, "Oh my goddddddd, he is soooo amazing. It would be even better if I knew what 'orgiastic frenzy' meant."
Fellow Man Band member Mr. Noisy, standing at an impressive 2'6", 45 lbs., is easily recognized as a noisy red head. Seriously. He likes to make a lot of noise, and he's pretty much just a big head that's red.
Of course, everything hasn't been completely turning up daisies for this young group. There have been several conflicts between Mr. Messy and his band mates, who claim his slovenly habits are impossible to live with on the road. Shouted Mr. Noisy, "I can't take it anymore!!! Sure, I know he wouldn't be Mr. Messy without the mess, but does he have to store all his old banana peels and rotting fish heads in MY dressing room? RARRRRRRR, I like to be loud!"
Mr. Uppity, though totally CUTE with a capital CUTE, seems to be the least accessible member of the group. A late addition-he joined only after Mr. Tickle was forced to abandon the band in the midst a rumored child molestation scandal-Mr. Uppity consistently refuses to participate in the Man Band's quirky, endearing antics, often appearing to turn up his nose in the midst of their tomfoolery.
However, The Man Band is willing to work through their difficulties. They have the best interest of the fans at heart and the cold, money-hungry fingers of their producers gripping their souls and driving them on and inspiring them to produce the infectious pop music they will hopefully be famous for.
The Man Band tells us at Music Scoop! they are extremely excited to begin touring later this year. Their new record, "Won't you be my Little Miss?" hits stores next week.
Well, see you next time, Music Scoopers!