Male Strippers Recieve $0.73 For Every Dollar Female Strippers Make

MADISON, WI--In a recent report studying the wages of exotic dancers, researchers found that for every dollar bill given to a female stripper, her male counterpart only receives $.73. This important issue has been long ignored by the scientific community, partly because scientists deal with science and not with issues involving male strippers.

Male strippers have been battling for equality for far too long. "It's terrible," said male stripper Jake Mason, who goes by the stage name "The Bone Ranger." "Some of my customers will actually put quarters into my 'gun holder' and expect me to make change. Don't they know that's something I only do with my ass?"

Others believe that the system is unfairly biased. "The female body is looked at as a thing of beauty, while the male body is constantly denigrated," said Joseph Carson, who performs as "The Incredible Bulk." "It's not fair. The male body is just played for laughs. Well I'll tell you this: there's nothing funny about a green, ten-inch cock."

When area strip club owners were questioned about cutting wages for male employees, the owners became defensive. "All I get are complaints," said Roger Norman, owner of the Log Cabin. "I can't hire illegal immigrants, I don't have enough minorities, I can't ask for sexual favors. Next thing I know PETA's going to be on my ass for because my monkey-stripper is underfed."

"Sometimes I think we've come so far. Then I hear something like this," said sociologist Earl Marshall, who has been studying workplace discrimination of male strippers. The subject is a personal one for Marshall; his father worked in the Pennsylvania coal mines as a male stripper during the Great Depression. "Conditions were tough." Marshall Sr. recalled, "No worker protections, long hours, and let's face it, those mines were cold."

The Male Erotic Dancers' Union, which for some reason goes by the acronym TEABAG, is planning to organize a strike of the nation's male dancers unless steps are taken to correct the pay inequalities. A spokesperson for the group said they may even stage an onstage strike, in which strippers stand on stage and refuse to strip. "We're pulling no punches," said the spokesman. "If no improvements are made, women will have to find somewhere else to be cock-slapped by men with shaved chests to the beat of 'It's Raining Men.'"