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Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Praise Bush's War Record

Male Strippers Recieve $0.73 For Every Dollar Female Strippers Make

Bush Mentions Terrorism 104,305 Times at Republican National Convention

Republican Buys Prius

Every Hummer Owner Spontaneously Combusts

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Student Finds Bookcase, Jimmy Hoffa's Corpse

Resume Typo Results in Student's Summer Job as Internist

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THE 2OO4 OLYMPICS

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Michael Phelps is a Choke Artist Who I Could Totally Beat at Everything

Where the Big Titty Bitches At?

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Gwyneth Paltrow's Placenta Sold to Highest Bidder on eBay

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An E3W Guide to Reinventing Yourself

Fall Fashion Preview: Cool Diseases!

Republican Buys Prius

ALEXANDRIA, VA--,Howard M. McAyes entered the showroom of Koons Toyota on Lee Highway last Tuesday evening and bought a Prius. The self described life-long Republican says he didn't realize what he had done until he saw the car in his garage the next morning. "I hope this doesn't mean I have to vote for Nader," he said. "I made my fortune embezzling money from the local children's hospital, but for this moment I am truly ashamed."

McAves then suffered a massive heart attack after discovering he mistakenly adopted five impoverished Hispanic children--Jose, Jesus, Jeronimo, Jesus Grande and Vicente Fox. Buena suerte, padre. Vaya con Dios.