O.D.B. Gets Welfare Check At Funeral
STANTON ISLAND, NY�The hip-hop world was shocked recently at the death of rapper Ol� Dirty Bastard, beloved father figure, crack connoisseur, and former member of the Wu Tang Clan. Friends and fans alike took part in the funeral procession, which to the surprise of many stopped at the relief office to pick up a welfare check.�I must say that at first I did think it was odd,� said Julia Guild, a friend in attendance, �But it was just like Big Baby Jesus to do something like this. After all, the wake was held at a crack house.�
�In compliance with the welfare reform bill passed in 1996, we present this check to the deceased for $200,� said Tom Davis, a government official at the relief office. �According to the welfare reform bill, a successful rap artist working for a large media conglomerate may collect welfare entitlements as long as there are a sufficient number of single black mothers who need the assistance more.�
�However, this will be the last welfare check that he will receive,� said Mr. Davis. �Because in six more months, Mr. McGirt�s Social Security benefits should kick in.�