World Not Buying Bush's "Terrorists Caused The Tsunami" Rationale

Still Buying Saddam, Al-Qaeda Link, Copies of DaVinci Code

WASHINGTON D.C.--As the world comes to the aid of those affected by last month�s tsunami, President Bush has called upon all nations to join the US in defeating the terrorists who caused the disaster. Unfortunately, many nations are reluctant to heed the President�s call because of disagreements over the war in Iraq and the improbability that the tsunami was caused by anything other than an earthquake or Star Jones swimming in the general vicinity.

�The world has responded generously to the relief efforts in Southeast Asia,� said Bush. �However, they have failed to recognize the importance of preventing another tsunami, which can only happen if they join America in the war on terror. They will be an important part of our vast Coalition Against Water. This means following us in whatever action we deem is necessary in preventing another tsunami, including invading countries that have nothing to do with the tsunami.�

Vice President Dick Cheney agreed. �This tsunami, a weapon of mass destruction if you will, knocked down buildings on the coasts of many countries, just like the terrorists who knocked down the World Trade Center on Our coasts,� said Cheney. �This connection to the 9/11 attacks boils it down to this: you�re either with us, or you�re with the tsunami.�

�Just look at the part of the world where the tsunami took place,� said the President. �Indonesia is the country with the world�s largest Muslim population. Therefore, it must also have the world�s largest Muslim fundamentalist population. You have to be thinking of this stuff.� For further proof, the President added that �tsunami� is an Arabic word that means �We have attacked again.�

Very few nations have bought into the Bush Administration�s rationale. �Frankly, the world community is tired of him blaming everything on terrorists,� said U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan. �The other day he said that the Great Depression was caused by terrorism. Even worse, he has started making up things that didn�t even happen just so he could blame them on terrorism. However, the Oil-for-Food scandal, on the other hand--terrorists probably had something to do with that.�

However, the United State�s trusty lapdog, England, has been willing to express its unexplainable and uncritical support. �We look forward to accompanying The US and President Bush into yet another obvious mistake,� said Prime Minister Tony Blair in that silly accent of his.

It should be noted, thought, that in recent days, the President has been wavering in his insistence and has shown that he may be willing to donate aid to the effort. �Please, just let me call this a terrorist attack,� he said. �Then I can ask Congress for another crazy sum like, oh, say, 65 gazillion dollars.�

Meanwhile, the Vice President refuses to let up. �We have documented evidence, he said, �that the tsunami met with al-Qaeda operatives in Prague a mere three weeks before 9/11. Since the tsunami did not drown them, we can only assume that it was aiding and abetting them.�