Entire Season of "Real World" Enjoyed on Mute
Ability to hear entirely unnecessary for viewing trite, vacuous program
"If you don't hear what they're actually saying, and just infer it from their facial expressions, actions, and body language, the show is not only far more understandable and interesting, it's also much less painful," Johnson said.
Johnson, who has for years enjoyed watching the lovely Latino ladies of PRIMER IMPACTO on mute, never considered that a program in English would benefit from the same treatment.
Johnson has so far followed the entire season of Real World: Denver without hearing one sliver of dialogue, and is pretty certain the new way of watching will change the way he watches all television not worth being made.
"I remember the days when I'd be able to hear each one of their petty arguments and gripes in full detail," Johnson said. "Now I can fill in the inane blanks myself."
When surveyed on factual information regarding plot and character in this season, which included such questions as "Which of the black males is politically conservative?" and "Check all of the following who are alcoholic," Johnson was 19 for 20.
His only incorrect answer came on question 17, "Which of the cast members was a former cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys?"
"I guessed the gay white guy with the polo shirt," Johnson admitted, shaking his head in surprised dejection. "I should have known it was a trick though: The gay white guy in the polo shirt actually cheered for the Denver Broncos. I realized that after watching the season finale on mute."
The results of Johnson's discovery have spilled over into the realm of all MTV programs. Johnson says that audio is completely superfluous for Next, Made, Laguna Beach, Dance Life, Rob and Big, Exposed, Boiling Points, True Life, My Super Sweet Sixteen, and TRL, along with most of the music videos, whose plots are often entirely divorced from the meanings of their songs.
Johnson says that all that is necessary to understand the plots of those shows is to assume the worst of the people on them.
"If it looks like someone is saying something boring, trite, spoiled, angry, or cruel, it's a safe bet they are."