Stuff Science Fiction Movies Promised I Would Have By Now
A blazingly hot girlfriend who wears leather bodysuits exclusively and fucks without emotional attachment.
A hovercraft complete with a co-pilot from a different planet who I can somehow understand and befriend.
An electrical/data outlet somewhere on my body. Ideally, I would prefer to have an iPod dock instead of an asshole.
A time machine (though, I suppose I would settle for a transporter. It is pathetic that in the year 2005 and I haven't been de-atomized and shot across space yet).
Police and government agents watching my every move, constantly following me and interfering with my daily experiences. God, I'm so lonely.
Entire dinners in pill form. (A sorority girl's diet of Ex-lax and Dexatrim does not count.)
A name consisting entirely of numbers. Yuppie parents may continue to name their children with substitutions of longer strings of numbers that equal the same sum.