Entertainment Stories
Lenny Kravitz Announces Plans To Not-Tour
NEW YORK - Responding to pressure from rabid fans across America, Lenny Kravitz has announced that he will be not-touring in the summer of 2008.“I can’t say enough how important all the support I got from my fans was for deciding to stop touring again,” Kravitz wrote on his blog. “But let me just say, I heard you loud and clear, and I will not be coming to your town to play a tired reggae version of ‘Fly Away’ this July!”
Kravitz’s website also featured a whole host of venues the pop star will not be visiting on his tour, I Aren’t Gonna Go Your Way ‘08. The biggest surprise on the ticket may be Kravitz’s guest non-appearance at Coachella Music Festival.
“People at Coachella clearly just want to celebrate [without] me this year,” K ... Read more
Discovery Channel To Premiere "Man vs. The Man From 'Man vs. Wild'"
TV LAND - Developers of the Discovery Channel survival show "Man vs. Wild" are planning on adding a new dimension to the reality series to boost ratings for the November sweeps period.Rumors have leaked that the new show will feature a trained assassin, whose goal it will be to murder host Bear Grylls as he attempts to survive the harsh elements of nature.
The assassin, who goes by the moniker "Dark Russet", will have to camouflage himself in the landscape. He is allotted one clean shot at Grylls per episode.
"We've asked that Mr. Russet not kill Grylls while he is undressing, as that is half the reason women watch this show," developer Keith Mirk said. "Any other time is fair game, preferably while the poor guy is urinating on himself for whatever reason. ... Read more
Darfur Genocide Turns Out to Be Publicity Stunt for Upcoming Don Cheadle Movie
HOLLYWOOD - It has recently been revealed that the genocide in Darfur is not in fact the result of ethnic tension between Sudanese Arabs and scattered Southern tribes, but instead, a carefully planned conflict orchestrated by Hollywood so that Don Cheadle can make another weepy movie.The plot was discovered and thwarted after an intern at the Warner Brothers studio uncovered a script for a Darfur-based project that detailed events not slated to occur until 2009, including UN involvement and a lack of political intervention by the US government.
According to the script, it would appear that studio execs allow the genocide to continue for a few years, eventually dying down to a less fervent pace. The script will then be made into a movie starring Don Cheadle, which, ... Read more
Eharmony.com Pairs Kanye West With Self
Lovestruck Singer: "I'm perfect for me"INTERNET - Earlier this week, the popular match-making site, eHarmony.com, announced plans to name Kanye West as its spokesperson, following the overwhelmingly positive response it received from Kanye West after pairing the egocentric producer/rapper/singer/songwriter/actor/designer/Russian Orthodox icon with himself.
"I always knew there was someone special out there for me," West remarked while gazing at his reflection, delicately stroking his upper lip with the tip of his tongue, and his pony-white sunglasses. "I mean, I deserve the best after what I've done for the music industry, for America, for the world, for the entire universe, and Kanye West is the best."
Noticing he had rhymed "West" with "best," West began composing a rap song dedicated to his new lover, t ... Read more
Snakes On A Plane Special Edition DVD To Feature 1 Hr 45 Min Blooper Reel
AP - The release of the summer blockbuster Snakes On A Plane on special edition reportedly contained a surprise, as New Line Cinema announced it would include a one-hour, 45 minute long blooper reel of extra footage cut from the original film.New Line says the 105-minute series of bloopers and outtakes contains unusable scenes of several snakes, released by an assassin in an attempt to kill a murder witness onboard, grappling bodily with airline passengers, many of whom deliver overly obvious dialogue that nonetheless fails to achieve ironic effect.
"This blooper reel really breaks new ground, as far as outtakes go," Samuel L. Jackson, who is featured in many of the unwatchable scenes, said of New Line's decision.
"I'm glad New Line decided these stupid-a ... Read more
Sequel To Eddie Murphy's Life Planned
HOLLYWOOD - Tinsel town is abuzz this week at the news that Eddie Murphy, the comedian who rose to prominence in the late '70's and early '80's with his irreverent stand-up act and bombastic film personality, is planning on producing a sequel to his own life.Murphy says that the project, whose title has yet to be announced, will probably begin shooting whenever his current life ends, wherever he happens to be located, and on the set of whatever high-budget bomb he's working on at that time, with the idea that the actor who plays him in the sequel will continue where the deceased Murphy left off.
"I'm at heart a dramatic man," Murphy says, adding that he hopes the sequel will feature the same dramatic arc that his first life followed, beginning with great promise and ... Read more
Bob Dylan Awarded Grammy For Sounding Least Like His Actual Singing Voice
NEW YORK -- Iconic singer/songwriter Bob Dylan snagged this year's Grammy for the recording artist whose studio-produced voice least resembles how that singer's voice sounds in reality. Past winners include Milli Vanilli and the decade of the 80's.Dylan's album, Modern Times, was released to rave reviews and huge sales despite the almost universal acknowledgement that the 63-year-old artist, singing live without production alteration, has a voice like the wrath of God.
"He was the vote I felt the most confident in," Michael Calligan, chair of the Grammy committee, declared of Dylan's nomination.
"When I went to see him live at Radio City, it took me over five minutes to figure out that he was singing some jangly, dispirited version of 'Stuck Inside Of Mobi ... Read more