Darfur Genocide Turns Out to Be Publicity Stunt for Upcoming Don Cheadle Movie
The plot was discovered and thwarted after an intern at the Warner Brothers studio uncovered a script for a Darfur-based project that detailed events not slated to occur until 2009, including UN involvement and a lack of political intervention by the US government.
According to the script, it would appear that studio execs allow the genocide to continue for a few years, eventually dying down to a less fervent pace. The script will then be made into a movie starring Don Cheadle, which, according to studio estimates, will produce a sizable profit, several Oscar nominations, and a lot of mopey filmgoers.
The film also will guilt-trip its viewers into seeing the next Don Cheadle film, which, rumor has it, will center around an immeasurable tragedy befalling Denmark.
The studio denied the allegations, but urged Denmark to continue to promote racial intolerance and maybe produce a few more cartoons featuring prominent religious figures.
Other events now believed to be have been orchestrated by Hollywood execs seeking to capitalize on Don Cheadle’s acting include the Rwandan Genocide, 9/11, American racial tensions, and the tragic plundering of one of Las Vegas’s most profitable casinos three times by several well-dressed men and a gorgeous woman.
In a related story, George Clooney has unearthed several more obscure historical no-names, complete with forged biographies and an inexplicable lack of audience-appeal. His 2009 project, "The Disenfranchisement of Orville Hucksberly" is to center around a 1920's stock broker who manipulated the stock markets into the 1929 crash, and found love with his brother's wife, before losing it all and gaining perspective on life. Historians have several valid reasons for why nobody has ever heard of Hucksberly, most of which involve the fact that the movie has yet to be released.
Back