Party Ruined By Guy Who Stops Believing

GREENWOOD - It was just a small town party, being held in a lonely apartment, but Todd Blackledge's Februaryfest was a swinging affair until one guy's inability to continue believing rendered the scene lame beyond repair.

"The place was bumpin'," recalled Blackledge. "We were halfway into our second keg, there were a couple of cuties playing strip flip cup in the back hall with Nick and Marc. A bunch of Jenni's friends from the Nursing School showed up falling all over each other. We were through the Bon Jovi and Eddie Money set on the iPod."

"Everybody was believing," said Blackledge. "We'd been believing for most of the night. Still, I felt the moment was right for Steve Perry and the gang to remind us not to stop believing."

Blackledge, a suburban boy born and raised in southeastern Detroit, claims he clicked on the well-worn Journey hit 'Don't Stop Believin'" not realizing that this dude had it in him to stop believing right at that moment.

"The guy seemed to agree with us earlier in the night when we said that every rose had its thorn," said Blackledge. "He'd even taken my hand and sworn that we would make it - that, in fact, we were already halfway there. Why would he choose the best song of the night to lose the faith?"

The stranger, suspected to be Blackledge's former roommate Michael "Mike" Robinson, chose not to sing along to the song, awkwardly standing in the corner of the room with his hands in his pockets and scrutinizing the party. The beliefless behavior did not go unnoticed by the rest of the party.

"Oh my God, Jackie and I were singing at the top of our lungs, having an absolute blast!" recalled sophomore Kriste Kingsford. "We didn't care what people thought of us."

"Then we noticed what a bummer that guy was being. The feeling was impossible to hold onto at that point."

When reached for comment, Robinson admitted he was the one who had stopped believing, but that the roving band of gang-rapists calling themselves "Cherry's Jubilee" who burst in between the second and third chorus, repeatedly sodomizing and defecating upon its inhabitants before setting fire to the structure, probably contributed more to the party's demise than he had.

"Oh yeah," said Blackledge. "I forgot about that. Maybe that was why the party sucked."

The partygoers displayed remarkable resilience to the attack, however, leaving for another party across the street that was also singing "Don't Stop Believing".

"It's almost like every single party held in college ends up singing that song," said Blackledge. "Wouldn't that be disappointing?"

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