Local Dog Gangbanged
According to eyewitness reports, a pack of hoodlum hounds approached Candy, who was tied to a bike rack while her master did his doo- dy, and perniciously pounded the poor Pomeranian’s stinky pink!
Rosco, a local ruffian Rot- tweiler, was the first to do the humpty-hump, drolly driving his dastardly ding-dong into Candy’s sweet lovin’ oven. When the timer went off, Rosco sure took his time pulling his spent schlong from be- tween Candy’s sticky buns! The next to give Candy the backwards business was Crackers, a hip, horny mutt, who dripped his sick, thick dipstick deep into Candy’s crankcase - and came back dripping with oil! The reading, you ask? Full to the brim!
Ochre, a black Do- berman pinscher, followed Crackers’ torrid tuneup by giving Candy a rude, crude lube from his torpedo tube, cruelly covering Candy’s cranium with his wavy gravy...and he still got Candy’s phone number when all was said and cum! How do the black dogs do it, this reporter would like to know!
All this time, kooky Candy was busy hoping for a breath of air or a cigarette? while her fragile frame got rocked repeatedly by the thugs’ too-snug plugs. Little did she know that the worst was yet to come - literally!
Buffo, the block’s baddest bulldog, barked for his bona fide bosom buddies to back off, mounting the poor Pomeranian with his throbbing hog and open- ing up the throttle to cruise casually on Candy’s Mammory Lane! You can bet that poor Candy was wishin’ she had more cushion for this pooch’s pushin’!
Spent, Buffo barked to the other dogs to scram before dismounting and sticking his proud snout where the sun don’t shine but this perky Pomeranian had a little more bite to her bark than Buffo predicted! Candy, her haunches held high in the sky, sprayed Buffo’s cold nose with a streaky stream of slimy grime, covering his punim in no time! Turns out Buffo is a pretty “shitty” date!
Shmilovitz, who says that Candy was chaste her whole life, mourns the loss of Candy’s virginity.
“I just hope she can bounce back from this incident,” Shmilovitz said, wiping a tear from his Jew eye.
Back