Friend Keeps Trying To Involve You In His Building’s Parking Lot Dispute
OFF CAMPUS - Somebody fucking put another note on your friend Dale’s car say- ing he’d get towed if he didn’t move spots, Dale reported late last night after picking you up to get Chinese food, leading to further speculation that these ass-clowns need their fucking ears examined.“I’ve told them once, I’ve told them a thousand times - I’m paid for,” Dale told you breathlessly, adding that they should be talking to that bitch in 1270 who double parks and also throws away her trash in the paper recycling bin.
Dale’s update is part of a continuous feed of utterly worthless information updating you about the shitheads involved in the parking lot situation on Ann Street.
Said shitheads have been being gay since September, though the conflict appears to be coming to a head.
“Here, here’s the note, go ahead and read it,” Dale said, adding under his breath the difficulty he’s having believing these douchebags. “They crossed a line. I drew a line in the sand and they fucking pole-vaulted over it.” Dale then reportedly drew a line in the air and slashed it with his fist.
According to the note, Dale has been asked repeatedly to display his permit in a clear and visible fashion and that if he does not, he will not be reimbursed for the tow- ing fee.
“I got your clear, visibly displayed park- ing permit right here,” Dale said, readjusting his genitals with a free hand. “Maybe they shouldn’t have printed the fucking things on a transparent sticker!”
Dale apparently has enough shit going on right now that he does not need this. Plus he’s already overpaying on rent anyway.
If Dale does not adhere to the guidelines alluded to in the lease, he may face trespassing charges, can you believe that, flip- pin’ trespassing charges?!
Dale is obviously oblivious to how little you care about the parking lot dispute, even going so far as to ask if maybe you would be someone who could testify for him if this thing went to court.
“You’d do that, wouldn’t you dude?” Dale asked at a red light, kind of staring at you while he asked it. “I mean, you’re my friend. You’d never put a note on my car.”
He added in a low voice, “Would you?”
Sources have since confirmed that you are the kind of dude who would never do that, and that you would stand up for your friends, just like you did when you verified that the pizza Steve left in the fridge legally became up for grabs after five days, despite Steve’s many notes.
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