One Hundred Eighteen Years of Increasing Senility

Lloyd Carr Reportedly Enjoying Retirement, Frasier Reruns

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RURAL ANN ARBOR - Departed Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr spoke briefly last week about the highs and lows of semi-retired life, courting reporters with his Tennessee charm and sharing amusing anecdotes as interviewers milled about his private ranch.

Carr, dressed in gray slacks, wool slippers and a canary yellow cardigan, and sipping from a mug of coffee shaped like women’s breasts that read ‘If Found, Please Return To Nassau, Bahamas’, expressed his newfound admiration for the mid- to late-90’s situation comedy Frasier.

“Frasier is good, smart, physical comedy with good ability and a lot of talent,” Carr said. “You’ve got Kelsey Grammar, who’s very expressive with his face and body. And then you’ve got David Hyde Pierce with the whole flamboyant act, doing the highbrow bit. And what these guys are doing together, with the genius brothers and the blue-collar father - it’s very, very funny.”

Carr said he rarely watched the show during its original run from 1993 to 2004, and regrets that he may have missed out on the defining moments in sitcom history when Frasier closed up shop in May of ‘04.

“Winston Churchill once said a joke is a very serious thing, and I think that more than any other show, Frasier understands what Churchill was trying to get at when he said that.”

Carr, who currently serves as assistant athletic director to AD Bill Martin, claims the position is largely cosmetic and that he is just a figurehead in the current arrangement.

“Calling me a crucial part of the athletic department is like calling Christopher Lloyd the brains behind Frasier,” Carr said. “Everyone knows [Christopher Lloyd] did as much as an executive producer can be expected to do - just quietly offer his opinion on what Daphne’s problem should be from time to time, or give ideas on what funny things Eddie can be up to.”

Carr appeared relaxed as he fielded questions about new U-M coach Rich Rodriguez’s controversial spread offense, allegations that Michigan had committed academic fraud with its athletes, the public attrition of right tackle Justin Boren, and worries that Michigan Stadium will no longer be the largest in the country once renovations get fully under way in the summer.

“Frasier is on only once or twice a day, which is a downright shame,” Carr responded. “Then again, it’s probably also a good thing since I get pretty catty after watching a few episode. Laurie says I’m going to get myself in trouble trying to imitate Nigel’s barbs.”

Carr, when asked, outlined a typical day in the retired life of one of the winningest coaches in college football.

“Laurie gets me up at eleven to watch the back-to-back Frasier episodes on Lifetime,” Carr said. “That puts us at noon, and then ER comes on. Before I know it, it’s time to start making the crust for the lemon dessert bars or massaging the veal. After dinner, we watch the Frasier episodes we recorded from late last night on the DV-R - that is, if we can keep our eyes open that long.”

“Have you heard of this thing, DV-R? It’s incredible, it really is. I mean, Jim, the things this machine can do are just spectacular.”

Carr even expressed occasional boredom with semi-retired life, but says he has no plans to reassert himself at the football program of which he was and remains such a beloved part.

“There’s a lot of Frasier episodes about slowing down and appreciating what you have, and I feel like I’m finally in a place where I can say, ‘Thanks for the advice, Fras. I believe I will pay my son a surprise visit.’”

Carr said he was very excited to hear that Frasier was, in fact, a spinoff of the late- 80’s/early-90’s sitcom Cheers.

“I’m hoping to maybe see Frasier on some of those Cheers episodes, even if I don’t condone the drinking,” Carr said.

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