NAACP Criticizes KKK for Lack of Diversity

"As I look underneath the hoods of the many klan members who threw shards of glass and called us scum during our peaceful gathering today, I noticed that there isn't a man of color among them. How can an organization in this day and age escape the equal opportunity clauses that riddle our state and federal law books? The KKK, like all organizations, should look more like the rainbow of colors that is America," continued Mfume amidst shouts of racial slurs and taunts from the white supremacists who openly threatened his life.
Much to the chagrin of the Klan, Mfume has embraced them and vows to make the hate-filled organization "open to any person regardless of sex, creed, or race." The NAACP and other organizations like the ACLU have successfully forced other private "organizations" to accept those its discriminated against.
"In the early 1990s, the first female cadet entered VMI. In 1998 the first woman joined the YMCA. In 1999 homosexuals were allowed in the boy scouts," stated attorney for the NAACP and Michigan Law Professor Catharine MacKinnon. "We feel that by forcing people into groups that don't want them, we can better the group and the person. Private organizations aren't about being private or allowing people to do what they want with their own money. It's our job as politicians to govern an entire populace based on the ideas of a very vocal minority."
Many members in the klan, however don't seem as enthusiastic about the possibility of allowing minorities into the once exclusive organization. "Ain't no way in hell no God damn [African-American] is gonna come near me without getting a whoopin'" stated 22-year klansman Jebediah Robbins as he held his 'beat-stick' in one hand and his wife/sister in the other. "We're put on this earth because we're better than any of y'alls and we're here to finish the work that Stalin couldn't. Long live Uncle Joe!"
Leonard P. Lee, the 23 year-old Asian design major who prompted this dispute last month when his klan membership was denied because of what he called "race-based preferences" is starting to waver on whether or not he wishes to go through with the case. "I initially just wanted to hate. That's all I wanted to do. I wanted to put on the sheet, burn some crosses, maybe stone someone, that's it. I didn t want all of this to happen."
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