Klinghonesty

By Worf, son of Mogh

Worf, son of Mogh, was strategic operations officer of the space station Ddeep Space Nine. He was taken in as a child by Sergey and Helena Rozhenko, and raised among humans. Worf is the perfect mixture between harsh Klingon rituals and tender human emotions.

Dear Worf,
I have been married for over 20 years to the same man. At first, our relationship was hot and heavy, like all relationships, I suppose. Then we got married and had kids and we always put off things for 'us' until the kids grew up. Well now all the kids are out of the house and my husband and I can't seem to rekindle that flame we put on hold so many years ago. Once when he came home, I had unplugged all of the lights and lit the entire house with candles and wore nothing but a skimpy little neglig�e, and he completely ignored me. What would you suggest I do?
Despondent in Dakota

Despondent,

Marriage is like serving a life sentence on a Breen internment camp. Although it may seems long and cold at times, an honorable death awaits you. Perhaps you should try something more romantic and drastic. Human males are generally very unperceptive of the smaller, minute romanticisms that women enjoy. I would recommend the next time he comes home, you pounce on him from behind. And like an Andorian Gila Roghtberg, subdue him and make passionate love with him. If he is still unresponsive, engage in the Ritual of Lem'Beth, the Klingon dance of love.
Dear Worf,
I think my teenage son is gay. I'm not sure if I'm okay with it and I just feel a bit disappointed that I'll never be able to do things with him that I'd want to do. I want to confront him to see if he is. I was wondering how I should approach this delicate situation. What would you recommend?
Uncertain in Upstate New York

Uncertain,

I understand your feelings. I too have a son. I am a great warrior and when I noticed that my son was not, I felt a bit empty. It is natural for a father to feel a bit 'cheated' when he discovers that his son will not take the path that the father would like him to take. This is a part of growing up, for your son and for you. You should let your son be who he is, and let him tell you when he is ready. When you think he is, take him hunting with you into the woods so you can talk and be father and son. Eat, drink, and be merry the way a father and a son should be. Cherish this moment you have with him, for you may not have him for long. Then, while he is asleep, brutally murder him and dispose of the body either in the woods or in a deep ditch so that no one else will know of his dishonor.

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