one hundred and ten years of five weeks between issues (sorry)
Front Page
National
Local
Sports
Entertainment
Editorial
Advice
Other

Mark Elliot Gordon: Epilogue, Elegy

And so the challenge ends, as inauspiciously as it began. Mr. Mark Elliot Gordon, writer of the first hate mail received here at E3W headquarters, did challenge us, stating that "he could write a better satire paper by himself". And we did challenge him back, saying "prove it: send us your material."

Sadly, friends, Mr. Gordon has failed to respond to us with any material at all. If we were to publish his hypothetical magazine, all the pages would be blank. And we all know the E3W is much better than blank even if you only consider the picture of Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas gracing our front page.

Take heart, though, Mr. Gordon: at least your blank magazine is better than one humor paper on campus. (hint: not us) (additional hint: starts with "gargoyle")

We have one final note on the subject. You see, the University of Michigan's personal web page server allows anyone with a UM id to check any page on the server, and since we kindly provided a link to Mr. Gordon's webpage (http://www-personal.umich.edu/~markeg), which sucks, we found the results interesting: 

week beg.: #reqs:  bytes: %bytes:  %reqs:
---------: -----: ------: ------: ------:
Jan/ 9/00:     6:   1314:  3.04%:  3.03%:
Jan/16/00:   162:  35394: 81.76%: 81.82%:
Jan/23/00:    28:   6144: 14.19%: 14.14%:
Jan/30/00:     2:    438:  1.01%:  1.01%:

Busiest week: week beginning Jan/16/00 (162 requests for pages).

Our issue came out Jan. 18. The hits before then were probably the E3W staffers checking the page out. So, approximately 190 of you actually read the paper all the way to the letters section and then actually got on the internet and went to Mr. Gordon's webpage. For that intrepid spirit, we hereby yield unto those of you who executed this little leap of faith the first annual E3W "Readers of the Year" award.

You don't really get anything, but whenever you're watching one of those Budweiser commercials that says "this Bud's for you," think of us and reward yourself with a cold one? because you deserve it! As long as you are 21, that is, since that is the age when we all magically transform into responsible adults thanks to the Responsibility Fairy.



Back