Animator Chuck Jones Dies in Tragic Anvil Accident

ALBUQUERQUE, NM--Animator Chuck Jones, who helped turn Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and the Grinch into cartoon legends, passed away on February 23^rd at age 89. Jones was reportedly thrown off a cliff, struck on the head by a piano, an anvil, and wooden mallet, then blown to smithereenies by several sticks of Acme brand dynamite. Though normally such events would produce fatal results, it was not until a tiny feather drifted leisurely down and landed upon his head that Jones offi cially passed away. Suicide was ruled out when investigators discovered a wooden sign bearing the word "HELP!" not far from the scene.

Police are still investigating the death, and have not discounted the possibility of foul play. It is believed that the chief suspect is Wile E. Coyote -- Carnivorous Vulgaris -- who may have been waging a personal vendetta for Jones's role in a conspiracy with Road Runner -- Speedius Maximus -- to defame Coyote's character.

"Well, it is something I'm capable of doing," said Coyote. "After all, I am a genius. But I can assure you, it wasn't me. I have nothing but respect for that man. After all the bombs I've blown up in my face, cliffs I've fallen off of, and trains I've been hit by, I should have died years ago. But Chuck never failed to bring me back to complete health just one scene later, ready for more frustration and suffering."

Long-time neighbor and close friend Elmer Fudd, was willing to corroborate Coyote's story. "I bewieve Wiwe. I mean, have you seen him twy to catch that Woad Wunner? You'd have to be pwetty cwever to do this cwime. I think it was that wascally wabbit."

Even as investigators try to determine Jones's killers, others would prefer simply to mourn the loss and celebrate his life.

"I dee-ba-dee-ba-dee do believe he would want us to move on in our lives," Porky Pig said. "B-b-but first, we need time to work through our suf-, our suf-, our suf-, um, our pain."

Several friends and co-workers attended Jones' funeral, including Michigan J. Frog, who was scheduled to give the eulogy. However, when he got to the podium, the only word Frog could utter was "Ribbit."

"I don't know what happened," said Frog's owner. "He was singing a minute ago. Really! 'Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal.' Why doesn't anybody believe me?"

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