Co-Workers Wish Guy Whose Family Died in a Horrible Accident Would Stop Swearing on the Souls of His Dead Family

Workers at the Bill Truman Seal Fastener Company filed a grievance with human resources manager Ted Scofi eld in the hopes of stopping Truman employee and recent widower Tony Kuzwan from constantly swearing to do things on the departed souls of his family.

"I guess it wasn't so bad at fi rst," said fellow employee and 5 year certifi ed machinist Jessica Lind. "I mean, his family was killed in a hit and run and he was weeping at the funeral, mumbling 'I'll fi nd the man who did this to me, I swear on the graves of my wife, my two boys, and my unborn daughter.' But then he kept swearing on them until it got old. Now it seems kind of inappropriate and creepy."

After swearing to fi nd the murderer of his family, Kuzwan was then confronted about absconding from the company's petty cash drawer. "I thought it was him because he needed the money to cope, but then Tony was all 'It wasn't me, I swear on my the graves of my wife of 10 years, my 3 and 5 year old boys, and my unborn daughter,' and so I assumed it wasn't him. But then a few weeks later, I asked Tony if he was coming to lunch and he just responded: 'I swear to God and the soul of my wife, I'll be at the Big Boy before 11:30.'"

Kuzwan now pulls out the dead family line to convince bill collectors he's paid his debts, to tell people in line that he didn't cut even though he did, and to reassure people he won't forget to do things.

"Yesterday he swore on his unborn baby that he could eat fifteen hotdogs in under a minute," said Lind. "When confronted after several unsuccessful attempts he vowed on his children's souls he'd done no such thing."

"I don't know how I feel about the fact that he swears on his dead wife's grave that my new hairstyle brings out my eyes," said Lind. "I'm pretty sure that he means good, but it's so hard to tell."

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