Pledge Wonders What Tradition and Character of New Frat Has To Do with Raping People
After a thorough study of his rush options for the winter semester, university student Hal Dulles found himself confused and disturbed after reading an ad in the Daily by Chi Delta Delta making claims of "tradition and character." Neither claim seemed directly related to the criminal sexual conduct and hard core drugs that top Dulles' list of valued fraternity activities.
"I thought the ad in the Daily might have been a misprint," Dulles said. "First of all, they're advertising a tradition for a fraternity that doesn't exist yet. I thought maybe they misspelled 'Rapetastic and Cocainealicious.' Those were two things I was looking for."
Operating on these assumptions, Dulles attended the mass meeting for Chi Delta Delta but still remained confused regarding the fraternity's intentions.
"They talked about community service, so I just figured they meant we'd go out into the community and try to get chicks drunk to service us," Dulles said. "Everything they said was so cryptic."
Inter-Fraternity Council President Charlie Curtis voiced disdain at the unclear message sent by the new fraternity. "We in the established Greek community hold honesty and openness to be our third most important policy, right after shooting our pledges in the testicles with pellet guns and driving the sport utility vehicles our parents bought for us," Curtis said. "I think we all have to consider Chi Delta Delta's true intentions if we're going to accept them as a vital part of our community." Curtis went on to explain that by "vital" he meant "GHBerrific."
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