Urinating League Finals: Drunk Man Hits Bull's-eye, Guy Standing Next To Him

With time winding down and his bladder at its breaking point, local drunk Tony Robinson successfully hit the center target in the urinal of the Brown Jug this past Friday. The shot, made from five feet away, appeared to completely drain Robinson of all his energy as he temporarily lost consciousness, spraying fellow competitor and drinking buddy Earl Tallia.

"Dude, you peed all over my new pants," Tallia said in an interview after the game.

Robinson's road to the Promised Land in peeing accuracy was a long and bumpy one, marked notably by three straight Fridays in which he forgot to unzip his pants before taking the shot and a January playoff in which he hit himself in the face after a tequila-fueled porn marathon.

"I think I've done all I can in this game," a triumphant Robinson declared, "it's time now to hang it up and get into the adult diapers that are retirement."

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