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Books Not Bombs Motto Leads to Development of Explosive Literature

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The State Department announced Wednesday that they plan to deploy a tactical reconnaissance unit to Ann Arbor in the coming days. The goal of the team will be to investigate and possibly purchase the prototype explosive book advocated this week by Anti-War Action!, the campus group responsible for organizing the "Books Not Bombs" student strike.

"When we first heard that the slogan for the strike was 'Books Not Bombs,' we thought it was just an unbelievably-misdirected and poorly-worded motto," Secretary of State Colin Powell said in a press conference. "But when we realized that they actually wanted us to drop books onto unsuspecting civilian targets instead of bombs, then they had our attention. An ordinary paperback book rewired to deliver a one-to-two megaton blast would save us hundreds of millions of dollars. Plus, the school children and other strategic targets we're planning on unleashing these upon will never suspect a book falling from the sky is about to level their town. Our team will be looking for a demonstration, but barring any complications, the military complex/overlord of this country is about to make those weird-looking girls in pink very rich women."

In an interview, Anti-War Action! President Linda Dwyer stood by the public platform of her group, while furtively hinting at the fact that the organization was in fact a front. "Dude, I don't have any idea what the State Department is talking about. These books don't explode. The whole point of the campaign was to get people to stop studying in protest of the war. We thought that using 'Books Not Bombs' in a program that got students out of class and as far away from books as possible was clever in a completely nonsensical way. Regardless, the point was not to drop explosive books on Iraq," Dwyer said, before adding, "Seriously though, did they say how many they want? Because it's going to take a fucking long time for the Asian children I have working in the basement of East Quad to rewire that many books."



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