Supreme Court Bans Church Prayer
"Church sponsorship of a religious message is impermissible because it sends the ancillary message to members of the audience who are non adherents that they are outsiders, not full members of the religious community," stated Justice John Paul Stevens in the majority opinion. When asked why a "non adherent" of a church would attend its ceremonies, Stevens quickly covered his ears and loudly hummed "We Shall Overcome" until the reporter left.
According to the 6-3 decision, prayer in church violates the separation of church and state. "A church is a building. This building is on land. And this land is part of the state. Ergo, prayer in a church is prayer on government property and therefore government sponsored-prayer," stated anti-God attorney Justin Bresnehan. "In today's world, something like prayer in our schools, churches and homes is unacceptable. We as parents see children shooting each other in school, getting pregnant at 13, and taking drugs-but trying to instill a sense of decency and morality in our youth through praying and hoping is detrimental. I say less prayer, and more Slayer. Rock on!"
Stevens and five other justices agree. "Church prayer is clearly against the First Amendment," the majority opinion stated. "Freedom of expression implies I shouldn't be forced to hear the opinions of others containing views incompatible with my own. Therefore their silence is my Constitutional right. Church is for bingo, fifty-fifty raffles, and the occasional Sober Sweetheart Dance. It shouldn't be a forum for spiritual growth or rhetoric; theology is reserved for Sunday morning cartoons, and late-night infomercials on PAX."
Many in the Texas community of Austin are stunned. "First they take away prayer before football games, now they ban prayer at church. What's next? If the Supreme Court has its way, we'll be forced have real trials before executions. Before long religion will exist solely in the form of stereotyped Italian mafia characters, and the protagonist in all of those devil-coming-down-to-earth movies," said local parishioner Sue Ellen Granger. "Oh dear? What would Jesus do?" she asked while sliding a tray of handmade bracelets featuring the same phrase and a $2.50 price tag toward reporters.
Despite her frustration, however, Granger and others still continue to fight. "We've already organized two fudge sales, a human hope chain, and I've written several incensed editorials for Christian Quarterly," she said. "God wants us to help ourselves. As you can see we're not pulling any punches."
Back