Plan That Seemed "Crazy Enough to Work" Doesn't

4 Rushed to Hospital, 1 Critical

Police and firefighters arrived to 712 Lawrence late last night in response to reports that a massive explosion had ripped through the dwelling. Four men were rushed to the University hospital for burns, one of whom is still in critical condition. Witnesses say that trouble at the abode began after one of the residents could not get his car to start and hatched a scheme that "sounded just crazy enough to work."

"I think it was [Brian Mazur's] car," said neighbor Jenna Jones, "He and some friends were going to go out to Meijer's to get some food, but the car wouldn't start. They then opened up the hood and found the radiator was low on fluid, but they didn't have any extra."

It was then, DPS investigators believe, that Mazur took some oil, gasoline, gun powder and carrot juice and poured it into the car's engine. "I told him it was stupid, but he said that the gasoline would get the 'radiator started' while the gun powder scared the engine, then the oil would be able to cool things down because it would be able to 'see better' with the carrot juice. I didn't know anything about cars, but his plan sounded reasonable to me. It wasn't until the engine exploded and the car caught on fire that it seemed like a really bad idea."

This incident is one of several in the past four months where someone has ignored the basic laws of science and common sense in hopes of a quick fix solution. "In my twenty years on the force, I've seen all sorts of these things, but they never cease to amaze me," said Sgt. Robert Porter of the Special Crimes Division at the AAPD. "Umbrellas for parachutes, attempting to use oars to speed the journey of a power boat, hoping to counteract the effects of a clearly labeled bottle of "poison" by quickly scrawling the word 'antidote' on another vessel of similar size and shape: it's ridiculous."

Local authorities are asking all students to refrain from engaging in activities that sound "crazy enough to work," assuming a truth because "it sounds stranger than fiction," or doing stuff when they know that they're "too old for this shit."

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