The Every Three Weekly Celebrates National Breast Awareness Month

This October is National Breast Awareness Month. Ignorance of breasts is a growing problem in America today. Breast Awareness Month is dedicated to increasing awareness of breast issues, especially the importance of early detection of breasts. The majority of women--and some fat guys--are at risk of developing breasts.

This year, Breast Awareness Month will celebrate ten years of drawing attention to the millions of ignored breasts around us, focusing on the importance of detecting breasts in their earliest stages by means of middle school make-out parties, mandatory physical education swimming classes, and, for mature women, frequent and thorough breast examinations by a skilled and gentle man.

In 2003, an estimated 594,150 new cases of breasts are expected to occur among women in the United States. You, or someone you may know, may already have breasts. Yet even in these technologically advanced times, there are still some women who remain completely oblivious to their current personal breast status. Early detection could spare them the pain of discovering their breasts the old-fashioned way--receiving several free alcoholic drinks. By then it may be too late.

If you are a woman and can still maintain eye contact with men outside of your close family, there may be hope. We at the E3W encourage all women to recognize the importance of early breast detection by participating in the National Day of Groping on October 17, 2003. Selfless men all across the country (and a few women) will be offering free groping clinics in an effort to identify breast-esque lumps or gauge the developmental status of breasts. We encourage women, even those who have not been advised by a doctor, to stop ignoring the risks and immediately grope themselves or get groped by someone else.

For their own sake, we hope our readers will join us in October and all year long as we continue to reach out to all women to uncover and appreciate breasts.

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