Make-a-Wish Chaperone's Disney Vacation Ruined by Sickly Child

Make-a-Wish Foundation employee Frank Buchannan, 37, reported Monday that his trip to Orlando last week had been completely ruined by Scotty Gutman, 8, the terminally-ill child whose trip he was chaperoning as a Make-a-Wish representative.

Buchannan, who had been looking forward to the trip as a potential venue for �scoping out some choice high school tail,� was thoroughly disappointed by the trip�s decided lack of time spent scoping out choice high school tail.

�The kid really ruined my chances,� Buchannan told friends and a collected mass of sympathizers at his weekly VCDL (Victims of Children Dying from Lukemia) meeting. �All he wanted to do was go on the kiddie rides and get his picture taken with some failed actor in a fucking mouse costume. That�s not where the hotties congregate, Scotty. Plus, he was so pale and bald. How am I supposed to get fucked with some cancer-ridden kid drooling on my leg? I�m not, that�s how.�

Gutman, who in his Make-a-Wish application stated that he had been looking forward to the trip as something he �really, really wants to do before the leukemia makes [him] too weak,� was unavailable for comment due to his immediate, yet contented death upon the family�s return from Disneyworld. His parents, however, claimed that �if were Scotty alive today, he would be very sorry that he ruined Mr. Buchannan�s trip.� The Gutmans also wish to remind the public that, in lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Scotty�s name to the American Cancer Society.

For his part, Buchannan is not holding a grudge. Sources close to him report that as of late Monday afternoon he had moved on and was anxiously awaiting his upcoming trip to the Final Four with �Little Lupus Bobby.�

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