Fans Prepare For Life Without Mike Hart, Puns

ANN ARBOR - Now that the 2007 college football season has come to an end, Michigan fans across the nation can celebrate their first bowl win in four years. However, Wolverine nation now must say goodbye to senior tailback Mike Hart, along with the way his name allowed a seemingly endless use of cardiovascular-associated puns.

"The victory in the Capital One Bowl against Florida marked the conclusion of several Harty college football careers, most notably, the King of Harts himself," said Free Press writer Mitch Albom. "Due to the unprecedented Hartache experienced this football season, it is evident that being a Michigan fan is not for the faint of Hart."

Other "sportswriters" chimed in with their imaginative takes on the name of Hart.

"Many will be Hartbroken when next season comes around and they see the Hartless sideline," wrote Jim Carty. "With his Hart of gold, Michigan’s all-time leading rusher continuously elevated the Hart rate of his fan base game in and game out (tragically causing a total of seven Hartattacks)." He then chuckled mirthfully to himself.

Of course, Wolverine fans will not forget the players that accompanied Hart on the field and those that are leaving along with him, nor did the geniuses who write the sports articles around here.

"Hart’s success would not be possible without his offensive line, which went a Long way by opening up massive holes, or without his Carr that drove him to practice each day," said the Michigan Daily.

"In short, (no pun intended), Mike Hart’s departure will not go unnoticed. But do not be disHartened toward the future of the team. Michigan fans throughout history have been known to have very big cardiac muscles."

Sheesh.

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