Break-Up Inspires About Twenty Pages Of Break-Up Film Script

CAMPUS - When U-M junior Jason Tess got dumped by U-M sophomore Amy Mollod earlier this month, Tess didn't sit around and feel sorry for himself. Instead, he got motivated to write a movie about his experience.

That motivation lead to "about twenty pages" of a script about break-ups that, Tess says, has the potential to reformulate Hollywood romantic comedies as we know them, "as long as I can get past the first act".

"There's a lot of exposition 'cause there's a lot you gotta know about Amy - I mean, about the girl in the movie whose name is Amy," said Tess.

"I guess I just named her Amy because it's a short name that I can type fast - Woody Allen uses that trick."

Tess says the writing of the first twenty pages or so came easy for him and that he only stopped because he didn't want to wear himself out.

"I have the idea for the next scene where they get together and decide to have sex in a fit of passion after the break-up," said Tess. "I just don't know if it'll be at Amy's place or the guy's place."

"As soon as I figure that out, it'll be back to the old keyboard."

Tess says he isn't worried about the possibility that the movie has stalled.

"The hardest part is putting in all the blocking and lighting cues," said Tess. "I'd say the script will be at least twice as long once I include that stuff."

The movie, which begins after the break-up has already occurred, opens with a zoomed shot of an eye before the camera pans out to reveal the female lead crying.

"I was gonna have the guy be the one crying but I didn't want people to think he was a pussy," said Tess.

Tess has considered the possibility that one of the two characters in the movie was cheating on the other before the break-up, but said he doesn't think that would make for a very funny movie.

"No one in the audience would be laughing when the male lead kills that skinny motherfucker Mark."

Tess said he is open to the idea that Amy could help write the movie with him, since they would be able to remember "all the funny shit that happened together."

"I texted her last night about it a bunch of times. She must not have gotten them."

Tess also remarked that his and Amy's break-up also would have made for a great Seinfeld episode.

"I would be Jerry, and Amy would be some girl Jerry was dating that told him what a huge asshole he turned out to be after six great months. But she would have really crooked teeth or something. And then Kramer would come in and do his thing with the hair and the vintage clothes."

"Gosh, I wish that show was still on."

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