Kanye West and Jay-Z Announce Collaboration on Beyonce’s Next Baby
CHEAP MOTEL OFF EXIT 179 – After extended contract negotiations with his wife Beyonce Knowles, hip-hop impresario Jay-Z announced that the couple’s next baby will be a collaborative effort between himself and Kanye West. The newest baby is expected to drop in the next eight to nine months, if all the principals can clear their busy schedules.
When reached for comment, Beyonce explained that adding Mr. West to the couple’s lovemaking was a completely different approach from the one taken with her last baby. “Working with a genius like Kanye will definitely be trying; he’s a perfectionist. Everything has to be just right, from the scented candles to the mobile made of midget cupids.”
Beyonce acknowledged, though, that Mr. West’s high aspirations will positively influence the re-production process in the end. “Of course, it will be difficult at first to manage all the different personalities and egos involved in the collaboration. That being said, I’m looking forward to that moment where our styles mesh together perfectly and we really start getting in the zone with each other,” she said.
Mr. West also had mixed feelings about the opportunity. Although he reported his enthusiasm about the collaboration, he noted that it would be difficult for him to let Jay-Z keep his own artistic dynamic with Ms. Knowles. For example, he admitted that his biggest problem working with Jay-Z was letting him finish.
West described his thoughts on the process as follows: “Now I know Jay and Beyonce just had a kid, and that’s great. I’m really happy for them. But this child we are working on now is about to be one of the best babies of all time! I’m just saying, it’s gonna make Beyonce’s old baby look like a bitch.”
When asked what the new project might look like, Jay-Z mused, “This baby is probably going to have some early Nas influences, with Beyonce providing a some nice undertones, all supported by a strong Kanye sample. Who knows? Maybe there’ll even be some John Legend thrown in there.”
“It’ll definitely have my eyes though,” he added.
Jay commented that besides the obvious physical difficulties inherent in the project, he was having a hard time letting another popular male artist contribute to the project. “Occasionally I feel jealous of the artistic connection that Kanye and Beyonce have with each other, and I feel like I’m the one I’m the one barging in on his project. You know, I don’t want him to outperform me on my own gig. Maybe we’ll get Rihanna in here to do a feature spot so I at least have someone to talk to.”