LSA Junior Schedules Only M/W Classes; Remains 85 Credits Shy of Graduation

WOLVERINE ACCESS – Even amid the stress and chaos of optional final exams, LSA junior with freshman standing Allie Winkler successfully completed the nerve-racking process of course registration. Though many students report feeling dissatisfied with their courses even after spending countless hours on RateMyProfessor or Schedulizer.com, Winkler boasts a “fucking flawless” schedule.

“Mondays and Wednesdays, 1-4. No exams, no papers, attendance optional,” she said smugly. “Four-day weekends? Yeah, that’s me.”

When asked how she would advise fellow students who were not as fortunate, Winkler said, “Be flexible. You can’t waste time dicking around on Schedulizer, trying to fit five different classes into your schedule. Pick two or three with the best times and get in there quick. Look at me – I set my alarm so I could wake up in time for my appointment and register at 2:30 p.m., on the dot.”

Currently undeclared, Winkler says that she is taking some time to explore her options. She has enrolled in three minicourses during the first half of the winter semester and three during the second half. By sampling a variety of subjects, Winkler says she will be “killing two birds with one stone,” accruing credits and finding out where her passions lie.

According to her advisor, Sara Johnson, whom she hasn’t seen since orientation, Winkler has received numerous warnings from the Office of the Registrar regarding her degree progress. “Allie is miles away from graduation,” said Johnson. “Pretty soon she’s going to have a seven-day weekend if she doesn’t get her act together.”

At press time, Winkler was exploring options for a completing a “rigorous week-long internship” at her Uncle Howard’s law firm this summer as a para-paralegal.

Originally published: December 2012

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