Season One of “The Wire” Rewatched in Preparation for Craigslist Exchange
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Ph.D. candidate William Bettis this past weekend rewatched for the third time season one of HBO’s acclaimed series The Wire, as part of his ongoing research for an upcoming Craigslist exchange.
The Wire’s first season sets a fictional cops-vs-gangs dynamic against the non-fictionally terrifying streets of West Baltimore, Maryland. Bettis, however, grew up in Providence, a city whose only resemblance to Baltimore lies in the fact that its murder count is computed by statisticians at Brown University.
“I’m just trying to make sure this all goes off without a hitch,” said Bettis, when asked for his rationale. “There’s a lot on the line, gotta make sure to keep the heat off us, watch our backs,” he continued, referring to the planned sale of his WHITE 60GB iPOD W/ HEADPHONES ($125) to another graduate student at the University.
Bettis – whose most dangerous experience to date was the time he braved a crosswalk without waiting for the “walk” signal – is hoping to use the show’s gritty portrayal of the heroin trade in West Baltimore to brush up on his street sense in advance of the exchange, which is set to take place at a local Starbucks.
After a close watch of episode six, in which detectives secure their first wiretap, Bettis traveled to what he called the “drop spot” to ensure that a bug had not been planted there. Starbucks employees acknowledge that they found the behavior odd, though according to shift manager Clare Fleischmann, “he looked like he might have been cleaning gum off from under the tables, which is fine by us.” Bettis warns that he suspects Fleischmann may be undercover, however, and suggests that she not be trusted.
At press time Bill McGowan, the eventual purchaser of the iPhone, was home watching reruns of CSI trying to figure out the best way to get away with robbing and murdering Bettis.