Timmy Zeller, Inventor of Claw-Hammer Juggling, Dead at Age 7
Ann Arbor resident Timmy Zeller, who will be most remembered for inventing the sport of claw-hammer juggling in the moments leading up to his untimely demise, passed away this morning from injuries sustained while attempting to throw two metal hammers into the air and subsequently catch them. The prolific inventor was considered something of a wunderkind, having created the fork-tipped electrical outlet cleaner when he was only four years old. It was around that time that his production suffered a steep decline, perhaps due to the frequent visits he paid to the intensive care unit at the University Medical Center.
Sources close to Zeller note that he was also an accomplished chef, an impressive feat considering that he could only reach the ingredients beneath the kitchen sink, which held mostly cleaning supplies and ant repellent.
Funeral arrangements will be announced in the coming days. Zeller’s family asks that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to any organization that promotes kids not doing really stupid shit. They also urge parents to coordinate hammer purchases so as not to end up owning more than one.
Originally published: December 2012